Monday, November 27, 2006

I'm at a "we ight" loss for words.

Like everyone else I get spam messages. I rarely read even the titles of the messages. Though, when I do it's usually about sexual function, financial windfall, or the apparently well documented problems with my weight. Today I glanced at the subject of one of these spam messages which promised solutions to my problems with "we ight." I wasn't aware that I'd grown so large as to require a plural for descriptive purposes. I should think I really need help if I've swelled to the size of two, or if I've gained such ego that I'm using the royal "we."

The great subject of the email was enough for me to read further, and it only got better.

"Did you know obesity kiIIs more and more people every year? We know you hate the extra pounds, the ugly look and the social stigmata attached to fat people."

I can honestly say I had no idea that fat people were prone to random, holy bleeding in social situations. Shit, health risks are nothing compared to bleeding patterned after the wounds of Christ. Does that make McDonald's the Romans?

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