Wednesday, September 15, 2004


"If Jesus weren't a Jew, he'd be an American."
A sign at an Ohio Bush-Cheney rally.

What the fuck does that mean? I have several problems with this sentence. I have many, but let's start with the first few.

1. Let's start with grammar. I'm assuming the author meant wasn't, instead of
weren't. But better grammarians can correct me on this one. Also were not--sort of suggests past tense, and I'm told Jesus is thought as a living God by most adherents. Not as a deceased God. Thus the ressurection.

2. Religion--I'm figuring this is a Christian author. Doesn't scripture or prophesy declare where Jesus has to be born? Didn't it have to be in the Middle East. Also is there a belief that being a Jew prevents US citizenship--there are lots of Jews in Brooklyn, could you have the vast conspiracy and media ownership if Jews weren't Americans? But let's say Jesus were born according to prophesy and somehow wasn't born Jewish (which seems hard to imagine, or believe...but let's say) would Jesus have to take the citizenship test to become an American. Would he take it in Aramaic or in English? I'm guessing he'd have to learn some English. Would he have to pledge allegiance to the flag...because I'd figure that'd be sorta hard if you were God (or even just god-like). " nation under me and my father." Plus do you think we'd really grant citizenship to a liberal bearded middle eastern guy--come now. Maybe the sign could read, "If Jesus weren't a Jew he'd be in Guantanamo."

Hmm. It's funny, I'd have expected something like: "If Castro weren't Cuban he'd be a Democrat."

It is reassuring to know that the fundamental belief that "God loves us this we know, because the Right told us so" is still alive and well, and seemingly unquestioned. Ahh....I need to renew my passport.

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