Tuesday, July 13, 2004

So I fell in love Part II...

As many if not most of you know this past month+ has been an amazing one for me personally. In that time I fully realized just how much I cared for Jen, how impressed I was by her intellect, how stupefied I was by her wit, how amazed I was by her generosity and hope, how deeply grateful I was for her kindness and friendship, and how astonished I was at the role she was beginning to play in my life, my thoughts, and my sense of the person I wanted to become. I spent good portions of June talking with many of you about those thoughts, about my hopes that they were shared, and wondering what would happen in Seattle (June 25th-28th).

So Seattle was wonderful. As I said, I fell in love with the city. But that's not all. I arrived and upon seeing Jen, I knew things were better than I'd hoped. Easy conversation followed. Later that night I basically explained what I was thinking and had been feeling for almost a month---she'd been in the same place. Finally each of us knew that our affection was requitted. I woke up the next morning and went into her room and we talked for 6 straight hours, pouring over subjects from math games as a child, to familty history, to political views, to weather (as long as it's talking with you....). It was as it should be.

So the rest of the weekend is too full of amazing moments to give them justice in this form.

Leaving Seattle was physically painful, though some of that may have been due to the 4:30am drive to the airport on an empty stomach --which also left my tummy (I love that word) in knots. It was a feeling (as are many that have been associated with this budding relationship) that was qualitatively and categorically different from any I'd ever felt. I've been in two relationships of longer than 2 years. Each of which had some great moments. I was lucky have found those two women, they are each talented and amazing and I'm glad. But this, this feels different. It is effortless, and seems to replenish the energy I invest in it. Any time I spend talking to Jen seems an investment not a gift. I never feel as though I've lost that time or energy, rather that I've spent it as wisely as I am able.

Got back to Denver. Had a flat tire in my long-term parked car. Not the rose petal strewn welcoming I'd hoped for, but what can you do. So I got all greasy and nearly ruined my nice purple shirt (JKD helped pick that one out...during our straight eye for the hopelessly unfashionable guy) On the drive home I called and talked with Mark. I gushed. Words were coming out double wide and triple stacked. I was trying to explain, express, and impress upon him just how deeply I felt for Jen. He got it. Apparently I didn't have to try so hard, it was clear from my voice alone.

The past few weeks since I've returned have been phenomenal and hard. We talk daily. We write (she's better about this) daily. We IM. Etc. And just a week ago we were confident enough to say to one another what we'd indepently known for much longer---that we loved one another. I'm profoundly grateful for these feelings and this relationship, and eager to see what comes next. So, to recap, Aaron's doing quite well.

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