Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The Warrior Way.

The best and brightest of Westerville make news.

When I attended WNHS (Westerville North) a lot was made of the Warrior Way. Imagine a cross between a cursory glance at a Successories poster and a 30 minute survey course of Christianity. That was the basic precept of the Warrior Way. We're all great, love each other, etc. Certainly not a bad thing, but it was drilled into us as the personal mission of the our principal who fancied himself a paternal figurehead. Everyone seemed to love him, while I just found him marginally annoying. He never failed to recall the names of any and all football players or basketball stars. However, having handed me awards at every single academic banquet (mock trial, in the know, tennis thing) for 4 years, he had no clue who I was.

But this is not about Jim McCan who was, by all accounts, including my own a good guy. This is about the newest claim to fame for our not so humble (we're sorta annoyingly self confident) school. A student greased himself up and streaked through the lunchroom before being subdued. It took two taserings to bring down the be-oiled nude runner. The CNN report indicates that grapeseed oil was used to give the naked guy his sheen. A couple of questions: 1) Isn't grapeseed oil really fricking expensive. I know Westerville is a place of some affluence, but really, you didn't want to go with a nice Canola or vegetable oil. Maybe some EVOO. 2) How did the police know that he was covered in grapeseed oil. Did someone sample the evidence? Was there a little CSI Westerville where someone swabbed him and tasted the oil?

After a little research I found this about grapeseed oil: "Grapeseed oil is a neutral flavored oil with a high smoke point making it great for cooking grilling or fondues or as a carrier in a vinagrette where the chef wants the non-oil flavors to dominate the experience." Maybe the streaker chose it for the high smoke point, or because he was concerned that a stronger flavored oil might overwhelm the flavor of freshly tasered flesh. Also grapeseed oil is really expensive, 16 oz cost 7 bucks.
Another question--If you've covered yourself in oil and are going to try and run across the WNHS tile, do you wear shoes? Does that negate my previous descriptions of him as naked?

No comments: