You know you get a goalie, right?

Did someone tell Thailand that you get to have a goalie in hockey?

Kazakhstan beat Thailand in hockey pool play 52-1. That's kind of a dick move, to beat a team by 51 goals. It's not like a 15-1 drubbing would have been less resounding. Were the Kazakhstanis playing for fantasy points? Were they recruited to play by Spurrier? Granted it's not like Thailand is known for its ice. I mean, hell, Thai Iced Tea is about the only time I associate ice and Thailand.

I don't know much about hockey, but given that a normal sized person accounts for like 80% of the total area of the goal, shouldn't sheer size mean that you'd block a few. Just random chance.

UPDATE:
Apparently two goalies did manage to stop 39 shots. That means there were 90 shots fired at the goal. I guess they stopped more than 40% of the shots. Oddly enough they did a better job of tending the net than the Kazakhstani goalie who allowed one goal on four shots. So maybe it's less about the Thai goalies. Let's go through a checklist, were the forwards given skates and sticks. Because those are both pretty important. Maybe instead of skates they were given stilettos, with 4 inch heels? Another concern, did the Thai center have his helmet facing open side out. Because it doesn't work nearly so well if you have it on backwards. Seriously, allowing 90 shots and only taking 4. Do you figure they were aware that you can take the puck away. Or were they used to playing some variation of flag-hockey where you have to grab the flag upon which time the offensive player gives you the puck. Were they starting John Mark Karr?

UPDATE II
===
Shamik points out that maybe the progeny of Yule Brenner wouldn't make the best hockey squad. However it would equip them well for discussing the scoring in the game.

Hockey player to reporter: "First they scored a goal. Et cetera. Et cetera . Et cetera."

UPDATE III
====
I have been thinking more about this and have some suggestions. At some point, say when you're losing by 20 goals, don't you figure the coach has to start thinking of silly plays. I mean Jesus, you're getting killed, you gotta do something.

1) I'd line 3 or 4 players around the crease, a la soccer players during free kicks. Clearly covering their junk.
2) Give the goalie two sticks.
3) Take the goalies big catching glove and give it to a player whose only job is to go around crazily skating and screaming in either Thai or Kazakhstani "I am lobster man."
4) Try the wedge play from Mighty Ducks
5) Hell, try the picket fence from Hoosiers.
6) Give one player an acetelyne torch to melt the ice immediately around the crease.
7) Call in a bomb threat
8) Start heckling their players "BOOORR - AAAA - TTT. BOOORR - AAAA - TTT."
9) Come out for the second period dressed like Disney Characters and try to convince the Kazaks that they are interrupting your performance of Disney on Ice.
10) Take out the little lightbulb in the red light that signals goals.
11) Whenever a Thai player gets the puck have him sprinkle rock salt all around himself as he moves, slowing down the opposition.

Who said this...

"The truth is more important than the facts."

a) Frank Lloyd Wright
b) Stephen Colbert
c) Hunter S. Thompson
d) Yogi Berra


ANSWER

(a). How about that?!

Colbert Explains the President's Health Care Plan

"It's so simple. Most people who couldn’t afford health insurance also are too poor to owe taxes. But...if you give them a deduction from their taxes they don’t owe, they can use the money they're not getting back from what they haven't given to buy the health care they can't afford."

The Warrior Way.

The best and brightest of Westerville make news.

When I attended WNHS (Westerville North) a lot was made of the Warrior Way. Imagine a cross between a cursory glance at a Successories poster and a 30 minute survey course of Christianity. That was the basic precept of the Warrior Way. We're all great, love each other, etc. Certainly not a bad thing, but it was drilled into us as the personal mission of the our principal who fancied himself a paternal figurehead. Everyone seemed to love him, while I just found him marginally annoying. He never failed to recall the names of any and all football players or basketball stars. However, having handed me awards at every single academic banquet (mock trial, in the know, tennis thing) for 4 years, he had no clue who I was.

But this is not about Jim McCan who was, by all accounts, including my own a good guy. This is about the newest claim to fame for our not so humble (we're sorta annoyingly self confident) school. A student greased himself up and streaked through the lunchroom before being subdued. It took two taserings to bring down the be-oiled nude runner. The CNN report indicates that grapeseed oil was used to give the naked guy his sheen. A couple of questions: 1) Isn't grapeseed oil really fricking expensive. I know Westerville is a place of some affluence, but really, you didn't want to go with a nice Canola or vegetable oil. Maybe some EVOO. 2) How did the police know that he was covered in grapeseed oil. Did someone sample the evidence? Was there a little CSI Westerville where someone swabbed him and tasted the oil?

====
UPDATE
After a little research I found this about grapeseed oil: "Grapeseed oil is a neutral flavored oil with a high smoke point making it great for cooking grilling or fondues or as a carrier in a vinagrette where the chef wants the non-oil flavors to dominate the experience." Maybe the streaker chose it for the high smoke point, or because he was concerned that a stronger flavored oil might overwhelm the flavor of freshly tasered flesh. Also grapeseed oil is really expensive, 16 oz cost 7 bucks.
Another question--If you've covered yourself in oil and are going to try and run across the WNHS tile, do you wear shoes? Does that negate my previous descriptions of him as naked?

I hate you spatial relations, I hate you so much

After spending the morning waiting for, and then leisurely enjoying brunch at Open City, I spent the afternoon at Paul's playing games. Towzer, Libby, Paul, Ann, Jess and I tried our hands at Carcassone and Settlers. We've newly acquired Carcasonne, and it attacks my spatial cognition weakness with precision usually only seen in those grainy 1992 Pentagon smart bomb videos. A large portion of the game involves placing tiles in such a way that you continue to build a logical and cohesive board. But that often means being able to rotate the tiles in your head. This being a task that I simply cannot do. Those tests you took in elementary school where they show you a sheet of paper and then describe the folds and the incisions made to the paper and then ask what the sheet will look like unfolded, those were a special kind of torture. Hell, I'd have scrap sheets of paper, fold them, cut them and still not get it right. I can't tell you want any object apart from a circle looks like when rotated 90 degrees. But I still enjoy Carcassone and am getting better.

After Carcasonne and some yummy apple pie courtesy of Libby, we settled down to play some settlers. Libby opted for some New Yorker reading instead, which given the frustration I felt in gettting smoked by Paul (eventually winner) and Jess (2nd place) might have been a better choice for me.

We finished off the evening with some Martinique beer and some Pennsylvannia beer (Yeungling) and a second game of Carcasonne. After a somewhat narrow loss in the first game. (Finished 5th of 5). I managed to get destroyed in the 2nd game. 6th place, and I'm sure if we could have found another sentient being to join us I'd have placed 7th. But abject failure aside, it was a great game and a really enjoyable evening.

Pictures of the participants below.

Game Night at Paul's.

28*2.65

There is the fact that raising the minimum wage is the right thing to do. And there is the fact that raising the minimum wage is the right thing to do politically. So how do 28 US Senators end up voting for a bill that would eliminate the Federal minimum wage? How politically tone deaf do you have to be? How wrongheaded do you have to be? Oh, and by the way, John McCain voted to end the Federal minimum wage. If I don't hear that repeatedly during the campaign I'm going to scream.

Eliminating the Federal minimum wage would have the lowest allowable wage revert to the state minimum wage for each of the states. For instance the state minimum wage in Kansas is $2.65. There are 28 people in the US Senatethat believe families in Kansas should live on $2.65. And you wonder why we don't have balanced federal budgets, 28 people have no fucking clue what it costs to be alive in this country in this year. I feel like Bill Cosby trying to explain to Theo how money works. Except instead of a wayward teenager on a sitcom, I'm trying to explain this to more than 25% of the most esteemed legislative body in the world. Sweet.

We're going to examine two examples. The first is a guy who is living alone and working in Kansas. He has no dependents, just him. He works 40 hours a week, and never misses a day and never takes a vacation. Meaning he works 40 hours at $2.65 for 52 weeks. That means, not considering state local taxes, that he earns a grand total of 5512 dollars a year. Again that's working full time, never missing a day, never being sick. Just $5500. Sorry, $5512, I shouldn't short change this guy his 12 bucks afterall that represents more than half a days worth of work for him (4.5 hours to be exact). According to HHS the 2007 the Federal Poverty line for a single adult is $10,210. You'll note that this gentleman makes less than that. How much less? The unscientific answer is a moral-crisis-inducing call-Sally-Struthers-to-sponsor-this-full-time-working-guy amount. The more scientific answer is: $4698. So for our guy to climb up the economic ladder and become poor, he'd need to work another 34 hours a week at his job. The plus side of this scenario, the 74 hour work week, is that by being at work all the damn time you really save on the cost of housing.

Let's look at another example. In this one our single guy decides to get married, and he and his wife start a family and have two kids. Hooray! The miracle of life, etc. After the kids are born, oh and neither parent took off time for the birth, couldn't afford to. Instead they just went to the home and garden aisel in Wal-Mart and got some gardening gloves and well you know. So these two parents live near inlaws who raise the kids. And both parents work full time, both making 2.65 an hour. What do they make in a year? A robust $11,024. Now I realize with dependents there are tax advantages, etc. But we're talking about four people living on $11,024. In this case the poverty line is miles away. The poverty line for a family of four is $20,650. They're 9,626 dollars away from that. Meaning that each of the parents has to work 74 hours a week, and even then they're 256 dollars short. It's okay, making up those $256 dollars only requires each of them to work an additional 48 hours. That's barely anything.

There are times when I can believe that there are true ideological differences between political opponents. That there are times when the differences are not between right and wrong or good and bad but between two competing ideas about how to make the world better. I cannot continue to believe that in this case. Voting to get rid of the federal minimum wage is just wrong. In Kansas there are 27,000 people who currently earn the minimum wage. I will make a promise to any of those 28 Senators. If they will go to Kansas and tell a worker earning the minimum wage that she is being overpaid and that the best thing for this country would be for her to take home half next year as this year, I will gladly pay for their time. Let's see 28 x 2.65, yeah I can swing that.

Je suis fatigue.

For the past week I've been staying late to work on a series of interviews. They're like one person focus groups, but because they're with "civilians," ie people at their homes instead of professionals at work I've been working until 9PM most nights. So this week has been a taste of my former life, my "life" as a campaign worker. I show up at 9am (would have been 8am on the campaign) and don't leave until 9pm (usually would have been 11p-12A on the campaign). It's downright exhausting. This more rigorous scheduled, coupled with my efforts to eat more healthfully and less overall has me feeling rundown. Oh, and toss in the fact that I've been doing pilates each of the last two days, and I'm just cooked.

I'm hoping to be finished with these interviews soon, though I have 13 out of 30 done, so if you extrapolate...well, it's unpleasant. So I'm sorta muddling through. If my communications and writing have the stench of inattentiveness and the clarity of Lake Erie water you'll have to excuse me. It's amazing that I was able to sustain this for months on end during the campaigns. I think a large part of it comes down to the energy of the office. Having people milling around working hard while you are working helps. Being alone in a Dupont office for 3 hours while dialing and interviewing is lonely and grinding. But, all that said, I'm feeling pretty well lately. I'm feeling fairly healthy. Looking forward to some touch football. I might even get to play ultimate this weekend, for the first time in three weeks. I'm pretty sure I'll remember the basic rules.

Glutton for punishment that I am, I packed my gym clothes. Here's hoping that myth of exercise giving you energy starts to seem more plausible. So far the equation seems pretty clear, using energy to exercise leaves me with less energy.

Kerry (on) My Wayward Son...

John Kerry decides not to run. More over at Jagged Skyline.

Are you ready for some football....

This month Jess and I have joined several friends in anchoring a weekly touch football game in a nearby park. After some serious cajoling Jess decided to attend three weeks ago, and is hooked. We've recruited Ann and Chris our former co-worker. All in all it's an awfully fun group. The games tend to be largely silly with the "get open and catch it" offense tending to dominate. I'm not sure if we're running the West Coast version of that offense or not. Given the loose resemblance to football formations that we sometimes (rarely) achieve it's hard to give official names to the arrangements. One formation used by Chris, Ann, Jess and I to great ends was the "Big I." The formation consists of the quarterback, and three backs directly behind him or her. From that formation we had all kinds of strange motion plays, described by a defender as looking like Moses parting the Red Sea. In the end, no matter the play we draw up, the best offense comes down to throwing toward people who are uncovered, and expecting them to catch the ball. A pretty simple offense, but honestly far less satisfying than a very complex play. So I've been thinking, in my spare time of random football plays. I've regressed to age 10 when I played Madden 1 and reveled in the fact that you could make up your own plays and then watch them run by your pixelated gridiron titans. That last sentence is much better if you imagine it read by the voice of NFL films, and if you imagine the little video guys moving in super slow motion.

One result of the game has been a rise in Jess' interest in football. She eagerly and of her own volition suggested we watch last week's playoff games. Both she and I rooted for the Saints and wished specific ills upon the Bears. Midway through the game Jess was getting frustrated and even a little upset. I explained that being a fan means, paying attention and cheering victories, and enduring the inevitable disappointment. Her response was perfect, "I don't like the second part." And that encapsulates what makes being a fan of any team hard, knowing that around every joyous corner is a sucker punch. I guess maybe I have a more jaded view having grown up a Brown's fan, and watching countless John Cooper led Buckeye teams fail against Michigan or some lowly-happy-to-be-here bowl opponent.

But the game galvanized Jess. We're both rooting against the Bears. And while I know this could have been the fans of any team, seeing this banner makes me particularly eager to watch the Bears fail. One final reason I relish the defeat of the Bears, Rex Grossman is a stereotype of the dumb frat jock. He's like a charicature of that idea. It's not that he's terrible, though that's debatable. It's that he's dumb. He called a timeout illegally last week. He talks to the press as though his sentences and ideas are being constructed by a team of monkeys using only magnetic poetry. I mean we're talking dumb. Like bag of Quikcrete dumb. Like three evolutionary generations past speech dumb. We're talking about a man for whom the admonition, "Don't forget to breathe" represents sound and necessary medical counsel.

So this week, without big boy football, Jess and I will have to get our fill from touchfootball. Should be a good time. I tried to remember to take photos last week, but I was playing all the time (we had even numbers). And honestly taking photos of others is way less fun being the subject of photographs. Here's hoping I get a chance to do both this weekend.

Jagged Skyline

For the simple fact that I was bored at work today, I created another blog. Well, boredom and the desire to try out some of Blogger's newer features without risking damage to this venerable institution. So to these ends I created Jagged Skyline. I'm not sure whether I'll write there much or if it'll become just a vast wasteland, whereas this blog is a vast wasteland of mediocrity. Anyway, to justify creating the blog, I posted there. Hooray for that.

SOTU

I'm heading over to Ann's for this evening's State of the Union. I've learned to expect little from these affairs (SOTU's not Ann's parties).

Last year I made up a drinking game with words I expected, and didn't expect to hear in the SOTU. This year, Brian did the same. We exchanged lists and he suggested I post mine here. So here you go, my State of the Union drinking list. My apologies if following this list either gets you very drunk or not at all.

1 Shot words
Addiction to foreign oil	Bipartisan
Border	Carbon
Culture of life	Democracy
Ethanol	Freedom/Free People
Global warming	Greenhouse gasses
Immigrants	Irag
Iran	Nuclear
Shiite	Stem cell
Sunni	Surge
Surveillance	Syria
Veto
2 Shot words
Clinton (either)	Ethics
God (apart from God bless America)	Hurricane Katrina
John McCain	Legacy
Palestine	September 11
Spying	Terrorist
Wire Tapping	Corruption
Gerald Ford	Humble
Joe Lieberman	Minimum Wage
Pelosi	Snowflake Babies
Terror	Warrant
10 Shot Words
Addiction to cocaine	Dick Cheney shot a man in Reno just to watch him die
Hugo Chavez	Iraq Study Group
Macaca	Mary Cheney’s Baby
Osama Bin Laden	Sunni Delight
Vietnam	Al Gore
Don Rumsfeld	His father
Inconvenient Truth	Jack Abramoff
Make a joke about InSURGEnts	Michael J. Fox
Scooter Libby	Tri-partisan

Straight.

"I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight." Isaiah 45:2

John McCain just can't get his straight talk to come out straight. He keeps pandering and lying and generally abusing the goodwill he engendered decades ago when he at least behaved as though straight talk were something more than a slogan. Nowadays John spends a good deal of his time outright lying to people. For instance he proposed the surge, and now is backing away from it so fast you wonder if he might break the sound barrier in so doing. The media has built him up as this paragon of independent virtue, and he's daily tempting fate by lying every chance he gets.

From ThinkProgress

The new Capitol Hill newspaper, The Politico, launches tomorrow. In its lead story — an exclusive interview with Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) — the senator lashes out against Vice President Dick Cheney. Roger Simon writes:

With his presidential hopes tied to an administration whose Iraq policy he supports but cannot control, John McCain for the first time blamed Vice President Cheney for what McCain calls the “witch’s brew” of a “terribly mishandled” war in which U.S. forces are on the verge of defeat.
[…]
Although McCain had once lavished praise on the vice president, he said in an interview in his Senate office: “The president listened too much to the Vice President … Of course, the president bears the ultimate responsibility, but he was very badly served by both the Vice President and, most of all, the Secretary of Defense.”

At a July 15, 2004 appearance in Michigan, McCain called Cheney “one of the most capable, experienced, intelligent and steady vice presidents this country has ever had.”

Also in the interview, McCain continued his back-pedaling from the escalation strategy that he first proposed. After offering a full-throated endorsement of the Bush plan just days ago, McCain opened the door to the redeployment of U.S. forces back to the borders of Iraq should the president’s plan fail. He added, “I don’t know if this is enough troops or not. I can’t guarantee success by doing this.”

A question, which of the following similes is most apt:

John McCain's talk is as straight as:
A) Billy's (from Family Circus) route to a friend's house
B) Clay Aiken's sexuality
C) a spirograph drawing
D) Marilyn Monroe's silhouette

Feel free to pick the best simile, or make up your own.

Dylan

I stole this link from ABJ who got it from Tal.

"Bob Dylan" video... well worth the look.

Makes Sense.

"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down." ~ Mitch Hedberg.

New Camera

I adore my new camera. It's so small I carry it with me daily. It starts up in less than a second. It's largely intuitive and makes it easy to change settings on the go. I'm thrilled.

Here are a couple of the random shots I've taken so far. These aren't particularly good, but for shots taken while waiting for the bus, they're not terrible.

1st Tries

Fake is the New Real

A guy I vaguely knew at Oberlin (and I'm pretty sure it's someone I didn't like) has this website Fake is the New Real. It's a collection of his art. It's largely conceptual and built around mapping ideas, connections and images. It's good stuff.

I particularly like his map of Chicago. It's a photograph of hundreds of street corners in Chicago. Each tracing the relationship of Chicago's gridded plan.
Anyway just a site I found interesting, and I do have a moral obligation to give credit to the myriad Obies doing fun things in the world. There's a completely non-sensical feeling of reflected glow from the accomplishments and efforts of my former classmates. Silly, I know.

Words of Wisdom

A little quiz, which inventor said the following: "Peace prevails when food suffices."

Answer: Momofuku Ando, who invented instant ramen noodles -- an undeniably monumental contribution to the gastronomy of college students everywhere. Ando died this week at 96.

Vick Sacked

Michael Vick proves himself to be a giant moron. Trying to smuggle his stash of pot onto a plane, Vick decided the best place to hide it was inside a water bottle. Because you know there hasn't been any discussion about airport security taking water away from people. That never happens. Especially not in 20oz containers.

Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was reluctant to throw away his 20-ounce water bottle at a Miami International Airport security checkpoint Wednesday morning.The reason, police say: The plastic bottle had a secret compartment that, when opened, had a dark residue and a pungent odor of marijuana.

It strains credulity that he's this ill informed. Apparently an inability to read coverages is not so different from an inability to read signs, or pay attention to news coverage.

The other shoe has dropped, and it's on the other foot.

Or something like that.

Maliki just called out Rice for giving a morale boost to the terrorists. I wonder whether the Bush Administration will enjoy being carelessly accused of aiding and abetting terrorists.
From the WaPo article

"The prime minister said statements such as Rice's "give morale boosts for the terrorists and push them toward making an extra effort and making them believe they have defeated the American administration," Maliki said. "But I can tell you that they have not defeated the Iraqi government."

West Coast vs Really East Coast

"I'd kick David Beckham's ass on any given day," the Game said when asked about Beckham. "I'd just pick the ball up and kick the shit out of the stadium, game over."

And people wonder why soccer has never taken off in America. For reasons that logic, and, I venture, even heroic quantities of alcohol and other mind altering products, fail to explain The Game recently said he'd kick David Beckham's ass. I can't imagine a lamer feud. Seriously, it used to be East Coast vs. West Coast, Biggie vs. Tupac. Now it's Beckham vs. The Game. You know you're struggling as a rapper when you are trying to pick fights with a soccer player. Is he going to call out Posh Spice on his next album, insinuate that he didn't really like her contributions to SpiceWorld?

Oh, and what on earth does it mean that he "would kick the shit out of the stadium, game over." Would he kick the ball out of the stadium? Does he think that it's like when the ball goes into the grouchy neighbors yard? I mean I'm betting even after spending 250million on Becks, the Galaxy can afford two balls. I mean, hell they could probably borrow one from the soccer moms in attendance if it got really scarce. Next up, The Game explains how he would totally beat the shit out of the bowlers for Pakistan, and would show them who is "over"

Power of Photography

Photos of "illegal" immigrants dressed as Superheroes. Includes their occupation as well as the amount of money they send home to their families. It's incredible looking at the amount some of the people are sending home. Some are sending back multiple hundreds of dollars a week. The kind of jobs they're working pay very little, and to be sending that much home is an incredible sacrifice.

Olbermann

I'm reposting Olbermann's words from yesterday. They're far better than my own.

Olbermann: President Bush makes no secret of his distaste for looking backward, for assessing past results.

But in our third story on the Countdown tonight… too bad.

Any meaningful assessment of the president's next step in Iraq must consider his steps and missteps so far.

So, let's look at the record:

Before Mr. Bush was elected, he said he was no nation-builder; nation-building was wrong for America.

Now, he says it is vital for America.

He said he would never put U.S. troops under foreign control. Today, U.S. troops observe Iraqi restrictions.

He told us about WMDs. Mobile labs. Secret sources. Aluminum tubing. Yellow-cake.

He has told us the war is necessary…Because Saddam was a threat; Because of 9/11; Osama bin Laden; al Qaeda; Because of terrorism in general; To liberate Iraq; To spread freedom; To spread democracy; To keep the oil out of the hands of terrorist-controlled states; Because this was a guy who tried to kill his dad.

In pushing for and prosecuting this war, he passed on chances to get Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, Muqtada al-Sadr, Osama bin Laden.

He sent in fewer troops than recommended. He disbanded the Iraqi Army, and "de-Baathified" the government. He short-changed Iraqi training.

He did not plan for widespread looting, nor the explosion of sectarian violence.

He sent in troops without life-saving equipment.

Gave jobs to foreign contractors, not the Iraqis.

Staffed U-S positions there, based on partisanship, not professionalism.

We learned that "America had prevailed", "Mission Accomplished", the resistance was in its "last throes".

He has said more troops were not necessary, and more troops are necessary, and that it's up to the generals, and removed some of the generals who said more troops would be necessary.

He told us of turning points: The fall of Baghdad, the death of Uday and Qusay, the capture of Saddam, a provisional government,the trial of Saddam, a charter, a constitution, an Iraqi government, ¤elections, purple fingers, a new government, the death of Saddam.

We would be greeted as liberators, with flowers.

As they stood up–we would stand down, we would stay the course, we were never 'stay the course',

The enemy was al Qaeda, was foreigners, terrorists, Baathists.

The war would pay for itself, it would cost 1-point-7 billion dollars, 100 billion, 400 billion, half a trillion dollars.

And after all of that, today it is his credibility versus that of generals, diplomats, allies, Republicans, Democrats, the Iraq Study Group, past presidents, voters last November, and the majority of the American people.

Pain.

According to research published in the Journal of Pain taking caffeine after working out may reduce by 50% the pain associated with exercise. Intersting right.

But even more interesting is the realization that there is a Journal of Pain. That sounds to me like part of the made of back story of a wrestler.

Announcer: "Professor Death graduated from the University of Agony with a Masters in Injury. His Ph.D thesis 'Hurtin' for Certain: The Psychological Effects of Paliative Care for the Terminally Ill' was recently published in The Journal of Pain. And now.... For his next CLASS he's going to KICK SOME ASS. Professor DEATH!!!"

Or maybe the Journal of Pain is what you read on the coffee table at the House of Pain.

Pants.

This week I'll be on the road a bunch. I'm travelling to Hartford, Raleigh and Tampa. All for work, all for short bits. Airports like nearly any place that has bitter people in positions of bureaucratic authority, long lines, waiting, and grumpy patrons (often a result of things one, two and three) make me nervous. I worry I won't move quickly enough, or I'll miss a sign, or I'll be called to account in front of others, or that it'll take too long, or I'll be late. Etc. A worrier by inclination and experience airports and the DMV and other such places are my 7th circle of hell. As for flying itself, I love it. I fall asleep quickly and soundly. I eagerly look out the window and try to guess by the topography where in America I am. I love it. Good stuff. But the lines and waiting are taxing. The only pleasant part is watching people. It's a chance to understand the world in a strangely superficial way. But I get such enjoyment from thinking about the people I see. From trying to understand their choices, their path, their lives from incredibly small fragments of information. I like the things that observation allows and forces me to think. The process of thinking and analyzing and wondering is so enjoyable that in the end it hardly seems to matter that I'm almost certainly wrong about them. It's a selfish exercise, but one that I enjoy.

Something I observed while waiting around in airports this week.

1). In the Southwest gate area I saw a well dressed, professional (looking) woman wearing fancy shoes, stylish pants and a stylish top. Nothing too noteworthy there. However, as she turned to pickup her luggage I saw that her pants were festooned with writing. Apparently these stylish pants were taking a cue from those oh-so fashionable jersey (Jersey) shorts popular with the kids these days. You know the pants, those that sport oddly hostile or hubris inspired statements like "You Wish" or "I'm HOT." The veritable picture of class and wit, displayed where those traits must appear--on the pink sweat panted ass of someone from Georgetown. This woman's pants were black, and were cut in such a way that they suggested effort and maturity. The words written on her not yet, but I imagine soon to be sagging posterior were: "London Calling." What am I to make of this? Here is a woman clearly trying to be stylish, in an adult way, but is wearing pants with writing on the butt. But then the writing references the seminal album by the punk rock band The Clash. I can't imagine that The Clash would be really excited about a well to do woman parading around their album and song title like a brand without any context or message. It's just reducing those ideas and that music to a cute cultural reference. She's saying, "Look I've heard of this album." Something about that just seems odd, and maybe even a little off putting. Maybe I'm out of touch here, but I also think making a hoodie with the word Guernica across it would be wrong. Without a supporting message, or context those pants are basically the equivalent of Engrish -- those poorly translated Japanese signs and shirts that feature English sentences or phrases in in-apt arrangements or context. By taking a punk album, grafting it onto pants of a certain style, but with a design that evokes the young and awful hot pants of so many, her clothing was confused and confusing. Maybe I'm missing it, but I cannot figure out what statement a person is making about themselves or their taste or the world by wearing those pants, it's simply a celebration of being in on the joke. It's a celebration of a loose familiarity with pop culture without any consideration for the meaning behind the music, or the place of the reference within a larger societal context.

It's a wonderful thing to be amazed.

This is amazing and just really nifty. A magnetic "slingshot" that would send satellites into orbit.

Or how about a mug that keeps your beverage hot but makes sure that you don't burn your mouth. Some sort of temparature control chamber that ensures a safe sip still keeps the rest of the mug steaming hot.

Always Be Closing

As a favor to my mom while I was home I sorted through a closet full of old flyfishing gear. I had forgotten just how much stuff I accumulated during those years of obsession. Suffice to say I was an easy kid to shop for then, anything and everything flyfishing. I was to use an awful pun, hooked. But since I haven't really done any flyfishing in the past decade it seems time to either trash, sell or donate some of my stuff. There's just too much particularly since I don't use it. So I boxed things up and posted it on ebay. Today, after eagerly watching the bids come in, I sold some flies, fly boxes, leaders, etc for 65 dollars. Far less than the value of the items, but far more than I would have gotten from letting them sit in the closet. This got me thinking about other things I have that I could sell. The problem with most items I own and would sell is that they are either ugly, broken, tarnished, unwieldy, or some combination of all four. And besides, they're hard to replace or replenish. This brought me to the idea of selling some of the photographs I've taken this year. Now, odds are this will be a cartoonish boondoggle, but you know maybe people want to buy these pictures. So I put three of the photos I took in Seattle on ebay and am going to wait and see. I don't imagine I'll get any bids, and so I'll lose 2 bucks in the process. Such is life. But it'd be super fun if photos which are a nearly endless resource were something I could put on ebay to make a small bit of cash from time to time. Adding another 10 bucks a month to my income would be fine. Nothing elaborate or gaudy, just a little bit here and there that I can tuck away in savings. We'll see if anything comes of it. I'm betting that people who want to buy "art" will prefer to buy it from people who know what an F-stop does, or can converse ably about apertures, and not some schmuck like me.

To check on the progress of my photos you can go here,here and here*


*Please do not consider this some sort of pitch or plug for bidding on them, I mean really, most of you know me and could just ask for a copy. I'm not trying to get friends to pay for some pics I took.

The Tubes are Clogged, that's why

"We've heard that a million monkeys at a million keyboards could produce the complete works of Shakespeare; now, thanks to the Internet, we know that is not true." Robert Wilensky

"If you had one chance..."

My favorite line:

"Talk to a sponge cake for some inspiration
on how to be consumed without heavy mastication."

What are you optimistic about

A website called the World Question Center asks leading thinkers a question every year. This year the question was what are you optimistic about. I've only looked at a few of them so far (there are dozens) but I loved this one from Brian Greene, author of The Fabric of the Cosmos and the Elegant Universe. He writes with a sense of excitement and amazement. He's gleeful about physics and questions and learning. He captures perfectly the feeling I experience when I'm trying to learn something new.
This is his answer to the question posed above:

The Power of Our Creative and Analytic Abilities

As I help raise my two year old son, I witness a basic truth familiar to parents through the ages and across the continents — we begin life as uninhibited explorers with a boundless fascination for the ever-growing world to which we have access. And what I find amazing is that if that fascination is fed, and if it's challenged, and if it's nurtured, it can grow to an intellect capable of grappling with such marvels as the quantum nature of reality, the energy locked inside the atom, the curved spacetime of the cosmos, the elementary constituents of matter, the genetic code underlying life, the neural circuitry responsible for consciousness, and perhaps even the very origin of the universe. While we evolved to survive, once we have the luxury of taking such survival for granted, the ability of our species to unravel mysteries grand and deep is awe inspiring. I'm optimistic that the world will increasingly value the power of such rational thought and will increasingly rely on its insights in making the most critical decisions.

Say Cheese!

With some additional money from a holiday bonus, I'm looking to buy a new digital camera. When I last bought a camera I felt like I was on top of things. I knew what I wanted, I found a camera that worked and I was glad. Now I'm completely lost. I don't know enough about cameras and computers to make an informed decision. It's become really overwhelming.

I basically want the following: 1) little lag time -- so the camera clicks when I push the button, and is ready for another photo soon there after. 2) Enough megapixels to take clear crisp photos and ideally enough to have room to crop. 3) Zoom 4x, but I'd be happy with 3 if it came to it. 4) I'd like something with a burst mode, where I could take a couple of photos in rapid succession to capture ultimate shots. 5) I want something that fits into my pocket. So a compact or ultracompact.

I'm willing to spend upto 350 for the camera. What should I buy? I am wading through reviews and descriptions but am seriously lost.

Thoughts?

Stop Motion Brilliance

I saw a link to this video on BoingBoing. It's one of the best I've seen in a long while. It's a stop motion video, something I played around with when I was younger. I never came up with anything approaching this level of skill. Frankly it's awe inspiring.

Too Bad

It's too bad that legally changing your name doesn't get you out of playing for the Texans.

A Half Day Sure. But a full day, that's too much

My friends in the Federal Government get to enjoy an extra day of vacation today. Gerald Ford died recently and so today is a federal holiday/day of rememberance for the late President. But here's the thing, Ford never appeared on a national ballot. He was picked by a disgraced President. Prior to ascending to the Presidency, Ford had only ever represented Grand Rapids Michigan. As a two-week resident of Grand Rapids during the Dean campaign, I can say with a measure of confidence that it is hardly a representative sample of America. Before becoming President, Ford never received a single vote from anyone not residing in Grand Rapids, except when he was voted to the All-College team in 1935.

No one had ever voted for the guy, and when they had a chance they picked Jimmy Carter. He served for a half-term. I have nothing against him, but I wonder, maybe DC could take a half-day for him. You know maybe a late start, time for a brunch then get to work. Similarly, the flags. Half-staff. Come now, maybe they should be at 3/4 staff. That seems fair.

Is it wrong

Is it wrong that I desperately want to have an ultimate team named Pink Freud.

We could have pink and white jerseys. With a Dark Side of the Moon-esque logo but instead of light refracting it might be a cigar. Or the back could say, sometimes a huck is just a huck. Who knows, but I think it could be such fun.

This Bodes Well

A friend and mentor, Tim Connolly once explained to me that the American people don't exactly know what a president does, but that they take their campaign as an example of the kind of leadership and judgement that they will bring to the task.

If that's the case, you have to wonder how comfortable Republicans would be with Rudy in possession of nuclear secrets. Just a few days into his charge against the windmill that is the Republican electorate, Rudy's campaign lost its campaign plan. Good start. He's the guy I want to have in control of the launch codes.