Thursday, December 21, 2006

Unknown to Mankind.

"I vow that I will attack this endeavor with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind."

Who said this?

A) Robert Gates, the incoming Secretary of Defense, charged with fixing the giant cluster fuck that is Iraq
B) Rudolph Giuliani, former Mayor of NYC and presumptive candidate for President.
C) Jim Harbaugh, former NFL quarterback and newly appointed coach at Stanford
D) Shakira, songstress whose new CD has required 3 complete remixes and will likely require an additional 25 hours of studio time to complete.

The answer is C. That's right, Jim Harbaugh promises to attack with an enthusiam unknown to mankind. He will give 110%. And not just metaphorically. He's serious. That's the level of enthusiasm he's bringing to the Standford job. Imagine if he had the job at a place that had won in recent memory.

Does Harbaugh remind anyone else of Smoove B, from the The Onion. I believe that Smoove B is also going to attack the act of lovemaking with an enthusiasm and gentle caress unknown to mankind. Or womankind. It will be electric.

Can Harbaugh make the following claim, as Smoove does: "I am capable of bringing you to a state of freakstasy that no other man could ever bring you to. You can try to find this level of sexual satisfaction with some other man, but know that if you break from Smoove, I cannot guarantee that I will still be single when you realize that only I can satisfy all your senses."

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