Wednesday, December 20, 2006

New Rocky Movie

So I have really no sense at all what happens in the latest Rocky movie. But given the age of the character, to say nothing of the age of the actor, I have to imagine some changes.

A few thoughts:

In the latest Rocky, I believe he fights his toughest enemy, incontinence. This struggle makes it harder for the ring announcer to, in good faith, declare that he wants a good clean fight. But it does help to discourage hitting below the belt.

In this edition, he's fighting the Social Security Administration.

The new Rocky features our Philly hero fighting for the Early Bird Special at 15 minutes past 9, in clear violation of Denny's policy.

Rocky producers are able to subsidize the newest entry in the franchise through product placement. Rocky's trademark raw egg shake is replaced with Ensure.

Instead of training by sparring with a side of beef, Rocky spends the first 20 minutes of his comeback complaining to the Cracker Barrell waitress about the portions on his side order of corned beef hash.

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