Friday, October 22, 2004

Metaphors Be With You.

The ongoing story out of Kentucky regarding Jim Bunning's health gets stranger everyday. According to Bunning he is qualified because he can still "walk, talk and chew gum at the same time." No joke. We've really lowered the bar. Bunning may be suffering from a medical condition that reduces his mental acuity. Mitch McConnell is just a fucker. This is how McConnell defends his colleague.

"Absurd," says Bunning's Kentucky colleague, Senate Majority Whip Mitch McConnell. "To suggest that the tall right-hander is somehow not up to a full nine innings or is losing his stuff, well, I'm here to tell you that the last thing you want to do would be to turn this job over to some lefty who's been playing in the minor leagues over in Frankfort."

McConnell later shook off the sign from his third base coach to hit a sacrifice fly--stating: "During a war you cannot ask the wealthiest to make a sacrifice." He then grabbed his jock (his Louisville slugger...he's from Kentucky afterall), spit out some tobacco (homegrown, of course) and playfully smacked the ass of the nearest lobbyist. Then he spiked a woman trying to guard her plate of food at a Louisville homeless shelter, while shouting: "you cannot block the plate." See baseball metaphors are fun.

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