In the spirit of encouraging excessive alcohol consumption below are the rules I propose for this evening's Presidential Press Conference. Given the frequency of drinking I suggest beer. But if you really hate yourself or Bush try George Dickel (I'm looking at you Mr. Kramer-Duffield).
1 Shot:
a) Any reference to heroic positive adjective preceeding soldiers/troops (as in We pray for our brave fighting men and women.
b) Any reference to looking forward to speaking before the 9-11 Commission
c) Any reference to Fallujah
d) Any reference to the "transfer of power" (plus 3 shots if he tells you who we're turning power over to)
e) Any time Bush mentions PDB
f) Any reference to "not having information regarding specific al Qaeda threats."
g) Any reference to sympathy for the families of the soldiers lost in the past week
h) Any time God is mentioned
i) Any assertion that America is safer now that Saddam is captured
j) Any implication that Iraqi resistance represents a "small group of individuals"
k) Any smirking (real or perceived)
2 shots
a) Any mention of his vacation which started on August 7th (after the PDB of note)
b) If Bush passes the buck onto either CIA or FBI
c) If the Fox News reporter doesn't get to ask a question
d) If the NPR reporter does
e) If anyone is categorized as "hating freedom"
3 shots
a) If there is any mention of Costa Ricans, miserable failures, two Americas, or the Real Deal
b) If Bush apologizes for any actions
11 shots
a) Any mention of Jo-Mentum
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