New Coke.

JKD offers a great commentary on a terrible article.

As he notes, the key passage from Paul Starr is:
"...liberal Democrats ought to ask themselves a big question: are they better off as the dominant force in an ideologically pure minority party, or as one of several influences in an ideologically varied party that can win at the polls? The latter, it seems clear, is the better choice."

You know when I was younger I used to assume that people rose to positions of influence and prominence because of ability. I used to think, "hey that guy gets paid to think about politics and tell me about it, there's a good chance he knows what he's talking about." Years later, turns out.... not so much. The idea that the failure of the Democratic Party is traceable to intransigence from ideologically pure liberals is horseshit. Or rather it's whatever item horseshit finds as objectionable as we find horsehit. Now, I don't propose we nominate Dennis Kucinich. But accomodationist efforts have simply neutered the message. The image that springs to mind is of a raft...when floating in shark infested waters, offering the sharks your remaining food in order to satiate them isn't wise. But then apparently wisdom doesn't get you anything these days.

I've come to believe more and more in the philosophy of strong and wrong vs. weak and right. And frankly I think it's a false choice, because being strong is right, and being weak is both wrong in strategic and policy terms. Parties, as I understand them, exist to create order and structure out of a chaotic political process. They are brands or intellectual shortcuts for voters. When confronted with myriad choices from President down to coroner.* People just want to know that the D and the R mean something. If a brand such as Coke where to come out with a commercial saying: "Pepsi, it's alright, and in fact we've decided to share bottles, from now on buy Coke's newest product: Coksi" they get hammered in the market. Just to offer some historical perspective, remember New Coke. New Coke started out as an attempt by Coke to counter a perceived move in consumer preference towards a sweeter soda. Pepsi did these silly taste tests and sure enough it beat Coke in the Pepsi conducted test. (Side note, turns out Pepsi still wins in a single sip taste test, but people buy 2liters or cans, and after a full can or 2liter people now, as always prefer Coke--because it's stronger and less syrupy). Coke flipped out, and decided that despite being the choice of millions of people for 75 years, it needed to be more like Pepsi. Sound familiar. Democrats do some focus grouping, find people like killing Iraqis, and boom...we jettison more than a century of Democratic ideals for New Democrat.

Instead, one option is to believe that we offer something that the American people like, and that if we continued to offer Classic Coke/Democrat or some pretty close facsimile that we might win. The metaphor breaks down a bit here, because I'm not suggesting we run Great Society II or New Deal: The Next Generation. But rather, that trying to copy, mimic and change our brand only muddies the water. The more we capitulate and the more we imitate the more we risk "New Coking" the Party even further.


*Coroner?! How the fuck am I qualified to judge who should be county coroner. I just picture an attack ad: Ominous voice over guy: "Bob Adams says you can trust him to be the Larimer County coroner, but on three ocassions he's been found slow dancing with dead bodies. (image shows Tom Petty's "Last Dance With Mary Jane" video)

This kind of thing will always be funny

High explanations for basic things will always be funny. This comes from the Style section of the Post (March 2003).

The Shakespearian Hokey Pokey
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl. The Hoke, the poke –
banish now thy doubt Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.

The others are funny as well.

Flaming Bags of Poo

One of the authors* of "Unfit for Command" is planning to move to Massachussets in order to run against John Kerry for Senate.

"Jerome Corsi, who, with retired Navy Lt. John O'Neill, is credited as the co-author of "Unfit for Command: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry," said he plans to move to Massachusetts later this year as the first step in his 2008 campaign for the U.S. Senate seat now held by Kerry."

What qualifications does Corsi have? Well he's a partisan hack who helped destroy Kerry, and was never personally attacked. Do you think that priviledged position would stand during the campaign? I'm guessing not. What a self important fuckwad. Kerry should unload on this guy with both barrels, every day all day. Kerry should start going negative now. Tie his shoe laces together. Key his car. Salt his front yard. Crank call him every night for the next 3 years. Leave flaming bags of poo on his doorstep. And then, he should obliterate this man--negative ads for the next three years. I sure hope the Republicans latch onto this guy. I want to see him earn his royalties.

*Is author the correct term for a monkey at a type writer?

NASA vs. NASCAR

While killing time yesterday, I discussed with Brian the major differences between NASA and NASCAR. Here are some of the best.

	NASA	NASCAR	WINNER
Voting bloc?	None	Dads	NASCAR
Name for support group	Mission Control	Pit Crew	NASA
Celebrates	Man’s transcendent ability to yearn for greater horizons	Winston brand tobacco	NASCAR
Role of "Buzz"	Name of captain	Name of haircut	Draw
Dorky Helmet	Yup	Yup	Draw
Monetary Value	Worth billions to industry	Billion dollar industry	NASA
Explosions	Unfortunately	Yes, please	Draw
Favorite Tang	Orange	Poon	NASCAR
Kind of Russian encountered	Cosmonaut	White	NASCAR
Sally Ride	Barrier Breaking Hero	Slang for post-race sex with Sally.	NASA
Cause of blindness	Sunshine	Moonshine	NASA

Memo to Soldiers, "You Love it Here"

Editor and Publisher has an article about new talking points cards being issued to every soldier in Iraq. The cards list helpful things that the soldiers should say to embedded journalists. Things like: "We are a values-based, people-focused team that strives to uphold the dignity and respect of all." and "The Marine Corps is trained, resourced, and ready to accomplish its missions. We are committed to the cause and will remain in Iraq as long as we are needed."

It's not enough that this administration drapes it's agenda both foreign and domestic in fatigues, now it's vital to our safety that we have schilling soldiers. What if the talking points are wrong, for instance when the Marines are not "resourced." "Capt. Landis responded to such criticism by defending the promotion of positive aspect, but stressing that no one was being asked to lie. 'These are not for use for propaganda means,' he told E&P. 'They are the truth.'"

Fantastic.

Presidential Speech or Concert Plea, you be the judge.

I tried in earnest to avoid news about the inaugural, but while talking to Jen she mentioned that Bush used the word freedom or liberty 7,000 times (actual figure may vary). Which got me thinking, maybe it's a direct appeal to red staters, or at least those loving themselves some red state rock.

I present: Freebird vs. Bush's Innaugural Address
Shorter Version of Each:
Free.Can't Change.Free.

Freebird is approximately a 7 minute song, and despite having FREE in the title it only mentions "free" three times(including the title). Bush's inaugural address mentioned "free" seven times and freedom 27 times. That's impressive. Do you think that now when Bush speaks, whiskey drunks will shout play "2nd Inaugural Address." and then make out with their girlfriends?

Just for reference.

If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be travelling on, now,
'Cause there's too many places I've got to see.
But, if I stayed here with you, girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
'Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.

Bye, bye, its been a sweet love.
Though this feeling I can't change.
But please don't take it badly,
'Cause Lord knows I'm to blame.
But, if I stayed here with you girl,
Things just couldn't be the same.
Cause I'm as free as a bird now,
And this bird you'll never change.
And this bird you can not change.
Lord knows, I can't change.
Lord help me, I can't change.

Will the last person rejecting englightment please turn of the lights

School Pride Goeth..

It turns out that while Miguel Villafana was and will always be and outlier in Oberlin's neatly arrayed graph, he's not alone. He's joined by Michelle Malkin.

Michelle Malkin, she of the very nice hair, and hair raising anger, is an Obie.
For those of you not familiar with Michelle's work, she wrote "In Defense of Internment: The Case for "Racial Profiling" in World War II and the War on Terror."

Malkin defended the internment of Japanese-Americans during WWII

I think that, based on the military intelligence and legal assessments at the time, the Roosevelt administration did the best that it could do [interning Japanese-Americans]. [Scarborough Country, 8/9/04]

And I think that one of the main problems with public education today is it's got this America-bashing component. We are made to have this collective guilt trip for everything that's been done to protect the homeland during World War II and today. And I think we need to stop that. [The Sean Hannity Show, 8/9/04]

Think one person can a difference. Think one commentator can make me weep.

Oh, and one more tirade.

On the members of Women for Kerry

But Rosie [the Riveter] is gone. And in her place, we have Hysterical Women for Kerry. They are self-absorbed celebrities who support banning all guns (except the ones their bodyguards use to protect them and their children). They are teachers' union bigwigs who support keeping all children hostage in public schools (except their own sons and daughters who have access to the best private institutions). They are sanctimonious environmentalists who oppose ostentatious energy consumption (except for their air-conditioned Malibu mansions and Gulfstream jets and custom Escalades).

They are antiwar activists who claim to love the troops (except when they're apologizing to the terrorists trying to kill our men and women in uniform). They are peace activists who balk at your son bringing in his "Star Wars" light saber for the kindergarten Halloween parade (but who have no problem serving as human shields for torture-loving dictators). They are ultrafeminists who purport to speak for all women (but not the unborn ones or the abstinent teenage ones or the minority conservative ones or the newly enfranchised ones in Afghanistan).

[...]

We've come a long way, baby. The wrong way. Get a grip, girls. You are an embarrassment to a nation at war.

Nothing to Speak Of

Jen usually has to leave for work earlier than I do. (she has a real job, with responsibilities and the like). This gives me a chance to lay in bed and make happy stretching/lounging noises while she's getting ready. Today she turned and jokingly said, "that's it, I was going to skip work, stay here and whisper sweet-nothings but now I'm leaving for work." What exactly are sweet nothings. Below is a list of those that I recited for Jen.
1. Zero
2. Nada
3. Zilch
4. -2+2
5. pi minus pi
6. Zero times anything.

Jen responded with pi divided by pi minus one. She's always been better at fancy math.

I offer these as romantic tips, sweet nothings to be whispered to the geeky partner of your choice.

And a good new year to you too

I'm lazy. Or at least I'm unmoved by the spirit. That's about the best reason I can offer for failing to write more often. Lazy, and often preoccupied. Are these traits going to change in the New Year? We shall see.

The holidays were wonderful. Of course my family loved Jen. And Jen got along splendidly with my folks and sister. The day after Christmas, I got to be with my sister, Mark, Stacy, Jen and my parents. It certainly didn't feel as though it was the last of those gatherings.Jen made me these truly spiffy mittens. They match my coat, and are fleece lined.

My car (the Saturn) has failed yet again. The engine is not working. On the drive back from Ikea, we failed to make it home. The car began to sputter and died. Jen fortunately had AAA and it was the last day of the year, and the last day of her membership. So that worked out in favor of Team Katz/Leavy. Hopefully this will be a cheap fix...you know...all those inexpensive engine problems. Fuckin' hell.

New Year's was uneventful. Jen and I went to the apartment of an Oberlin alum whom we both knew, but we were primarily invited by that alum's brother's girlfriend, who is a friend of Jen's back from Minnesota the week. Serena (the MN friend) is getting her Ph.d in politics at the U. Lots of talk about politics, and about Minnesota and grad school. Life was good.

I slept unevenly, and found myself up early with a lot of nervous energy. Largely related to car and work concerns. If we don't start to raise some serious money soon I'm going to have to look for another job. It's frustrating to worry about the solvency of my place of employment, and in this case, to know that my performance is hardly related to our success or failure. It does however convince me that I'd make a lousy entrepreneur or small business owner.

Upon arriving at work, I found on the floor a letter forced through our mail slot. We generally get two kinds of letters at the office, donations from people who've lost their remitance envelope (the remit evelope goes to a PO Box not our office), and people asking to be taken off out mailing list. This was a new type, the "Everything is fucked up, why bother" letter.

Dear Tom:

I appreciate your call of last week, and your prompt follow- up with your letter of December 15.

I won't be contributing to your activity this year, and I am uncertain about whether I might do so in the future.

All of us are aware of the consistent history of civilization. Governments of the people consistently turn to the right as the civilization reaches its peak, and then the rich and powerful take total control and the civilization implodes. The re-election of President Bush is an exact sign of this as our country makes its way downhill along this well-worn trail.

A dedicated person like you can keep the good things going only for a brief time, and then the consistent course of history reasserts itself.

Kind Regards,
XXXXX XXXXXX

Take that, optimism. "A dedicated person like you can keep the good things going only for a brief time, and then the consistent course of history reassersts itself." A cheerful fellow to be certain.