Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Where is my mind?

When I first started writing this blog I thought myself somewhat witty for selecting the title “where is my mind.” I imagine, I don’t remember well enough to say with certainty, that I was pleased with finding a good pop culture reference, something not too obscure, something not too mundane.

I’m trying to remember the person I was when I first started this blog. It was more than four years ago, I’d not yet lived in Colorado, Washington, or DC. Then like now, I was searching for who I wanted to become, searching for what to make of ability and injury, doubt and arrogance. I believe I began with a desire to share my thoughts, an urge to make known what I believed about the world, myself, and to some extent my place within that world. When I started this blog, Where is my Mind was posed as a question, but first and foremost it was a declaration. A statement that the words below would, if read, and reprocessed illustrate where I was, mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. When I started this site was an outlet, a microphone, a platform to explore, rant, announce and share. For several years it served me well, and gave me a sense of my own voice, and a way to be public and present in the lives of a great many I love.

As I return to this space, to these pages, to this site. I find that I still like the title. It still seems apt, and slightly cooler than its author. But instead of a certain declaration that the words to follow will add up to some coherent whole, I’m finding myself questioning. I wonder, more than I have allowed myself to in a long while: Where is my mind. I’d like to see what I can learn about the man I am, and the man I seek to become – and I’m eager to see whether this site can give me just such an outlet.

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