While making a playlist/cd for tonight's party (Libby and I are cohosting a New Year's party at her place) I thought back to all the strange places I've been in the past 365 days, and the music that has been the soundtrack to those travels and travails.
Turns out it's not quite what I would expect.
Here are the songs I've played the most on my laptop
New Slang by the Shins. Not sure it's going to change my life, but it sure got played a lot.
Changes--Tupac. I guess it's fitting that in a year filled with changes, this became a semi-anthem
HOVA--Jay Z. What can I say, when do you not want to hear the live version of HOVA. Never.
Forgot about Dre--Eminem. Apparently I did not forget about Dre. In fact I remembered him a lot.
Popular Mechanics f0r Lovers--Beulah. This song was on repeat throughout August. It's fucking inspired.
Raise Up--Petey Pablo. This is part of my pregame psych up mix, so it got a lot of play. Plus I captained a team named Raze...so you have to figure I played this twice or three times before every game we played. Like I said, a lot.
July, July--The Decemberists. Just as PMFL was August's soundtrack, this song was September's. All day, nearly everyday. Great song, strange, Neutral Milk Hotely. Worth a listen.
Yeah--Lil Jon and Usher. Um, yeah, I listened to this a lot. Usually involved me gesticulating around my kitchen in some strange new variation on Tom Cruise's Risky Business dance. Needless to say I'm glad people don't walk by too often. Yikes.
Jesus Walks--Kanye West. Part of the psych up cd. After watching Jarhead I couldn't get enough of this song. The opening 8 notes or so are like musical crack. As familar as the bum bum from Law and Order.
Down to the River to Pray--Allison Krause. A new favorite. A late bloomer, it became a huge part of November's music for me. Wonderous.
Such Great Heights--Postal Service. This song defines my time in Seattle. So it's with mixed feelings that I think about it. I cannot hear it without thinking of the Spaceneedle, and sadly, without thinking of Jen. I recently realized that it's again song that I enjoy listening to. For a while it was like picking at a scab, not that that stopped me. But now it's back to a good song that makes me think of the good times in Seattle, and with Jen....but without me feeling bad about my life now. I guess that's part of the lesson of this year.
I finish this year on a much stronger mental footing (strange image, I know) than last year, and certainly than a lot of this year. I'm happy with work, I have amazing friends, and I'm enjoying dating Jesseca. In fact it's going really quite well. Do I sometimes have miss things with Jen--or at least have bitter sweet thoughts.? Of course. Do I sometimes miss Seattle, or have those same bitter sweet thoughts (ie, it's so beautiful...but oh, right, it's also rainy and dark)? Yes. Do I miss DAPAC? Fuck no. I realized just how fortunate I am upon my return to DC. I was planning on Metroing home but earlier in the day got an email from Paul asking if I'd like a ride. I replied quickly and affirmatively. Right after I landed I got a phone call from Liz. "We're outside, have you landed?"
Me: "we?"
Liz: "Sure, we all came."
Paul, Liz and Libby had all come to pick me up at the airport. My friends. Nearly enough to make me weep. I'm a fortunate man. This year made me wonder about my luck and worth a few times. But in the end, I leave it feeling more confident and loved than ever before. Not too shabby.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Saturday, December 24, 2005
While cleaning my desk at work.
Woody Allen once famously said that 80% of life is just showing up. Yesterday at work that percent approached 100. Work was a cobbling together of effort at appearing busy with the full recognition that it was on all accounts recognizably false. I moved papers, quite literally across my desk. Piles of reports moved like the shadow on a sundial, charting my progress through the day. While cleaning I did come across a notebook that I bought immediately before visiting DC in May. The notebook is filled with jotted, slant-written notes on meetings with people in polling. Interspersed with notes like, "learn to talk about numbers," and "call Diane Feldman," are other nearly journal like sections.
It's a good chart of my thoughts as I first came to terms with life and work in Washington. A couple of notes republished here:
"Numbers when presented correctly can gain the force and fluidity of language, the power, perusasion and meaning of wordsa not just the tally of items. To take disaggregated truths and make of them a coherent reality that's the great pay off."
What can I say, I was trying to figure out how to talk about numbers. Apparently the only way I can talk about numbers is to make them more word like. When in doubt change topics..."numbers, yeah those are great, especially when they're like words. Did I mention I like words."
"A man should carry a pen. A strong, heavy pen. Something that suggest in form a seriousness and weight of thought if not of intellect. A heavy pen reminds a man to choose carefully his words for excess is strain." Not really sure if I believe this. It feels like something from a long discarded Thoreau-vian effort. It's an aphorism for someone not named Aaron. Lord knows I love the excess of verbosity. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but witty people are annoying. So full of themselves...oooh look at me I'm able to communicate profound thoughts without wasting thousands of characters. Jerks.
Later in the journal/notebook there is a section of date ideas. Haven't used any of them. Maybe I shouldn't publish them here for fear that I'll be thought unoriginal, though stealing from yourself seems fair game. I guess it's finding things like this notebook that make me wish I'd kept a journal. And then I realize, I have. This blog. I sometimes forget that I can go back and look at the archives. it somehow seems regressive or overly nostalgic, maybe even a little self-congratulatory to go back and look at what I've written. Inevitably I am surprised by what I read, not the ideas mentioned but the words I've used. They are either more accurate than I knew, or more naive than I'd like to admit.
2005 has been a pretty remarkable year for me. I started it in Washington and will finish it in Washington. The two dates are separated by 3,000 miles and 12 months, two jobs, two frisbee teams, new friends blended with old. And some other changes as well. Mainly I'm happy to be where I am, emotionally, physically, and geographically. Here's to the changes to come. I know I'll have this space as a place to return in a year and realize all the strange changes that defined my next year.
It's a good chart of my thoughts as I first came to terms with life and work in Washington. A couple of notes republished here:
"Numbers when presented correctly can gain the force and fluidity of language, the power, perusasion and meaning of wordsa not just the tally of items. To take disaggregated truths and make of them a coherent reality that's the great pay off."
What can I say, I was trying to figure out how to talk about numbers. Apparently the only way I can talk about numbers is to make them more word like. When in doubt change topics..."numbers, yeah those are great, especially when they're like words. Did I mention I like words."
"A man should carry a pen. A strong, heavy pen. Something that suggest in form a seriousness and weight of thought if not of intellect. A heavy pen reminds a man to choose carefully his words for excess is strain." Not really sure if I believe this. It feels like something from a long discarded Thoreau-vian effort. It's an aphorism for someone not named Aaron. Lord knows I love the excess of verbosity. Brevity may be the soul of wit, but witty people are annoying. So full of themselves...oooh look at me I'm able to communicate profound thoughts without wasting thousands of characters. Jerks.
Later in the journal/notebook there is a section of date ideas. Haven't used any of them. Maybe I shouldn't publish them here for fear that I'll be thought unoriginal, though stealing from yourself seems fair game. I guess it's finding things like this notebook that make me wish I'd kept a journal. And then I realize, I have. This blog. I sometimes forget that I can go back and look at the archives. it somehow seems regressive or overly nostalgic, maybe even a little self-congratulatory to go back and look at what I've written. Inevitably I am surprised by what I read, not the ideas mentioned but the words I've used. They are either more accurate than I knew, or more naive than I'd like to admit.
2005 has been a pretty remarkable year for me. I started it in Washington and will finish it in Washington. The two dates are separated by 3,000 miles and 12 months, two jobs, two frisbee teams, new friends blended with old. And some other changes as well. Mainly I'm happy to be where I am, emotionally, physically, and geographically. Here's to the changes to come. I know I'll have this space as a place to return in a year and realize all the strange changes that defined my next year.
Thursday, December 01, 2005
I am not alone
BoingBoing notes that NPR's online game reviewer sides with me. That's right me.
From npr.org: 'Robert Holt is a manager for NPR.org and an avid player of online games. He reviews games for NPR's All Things Considered. His first online gaming experience was in 1986, playing the strategy game Diplomacy on a computer bulletin board system. Holt explains some of the terminology and methods of paying to play -- and why he thinks it ruins the gaming experience'
"Sure, it's great to be all-powerful, or 'uber' in game parlance. But at what cost? I consider it cheating to buy your way in to an uber character. In order to be truly 'uber,' you need to earn it. Besides, it takes a lot of skill to use a high-level character's abilities to their fullest, so an inexperienced player that has purchased a high-level character will very often lose a battle or die because they don't have the experience of all that playing time.
For me, the point of playing these games is not to win -- it's to be immersed in the worlds, and to interact with fellow players. You miss out on truly experiencing the world if you don't earn your items and character abilities."
From npr.org: 'Robert Holt is a manager for NPR.org and an avid player of online games. He reviews games for NPR's All Things Considered. His first online gaming experience was in 1986, playing the strategy game Diplomacy on a computer bulletin board system. Holt explains some of the terminology and methods of paying to play -- and why he thinks it ruins the gaming experience'
"Sure, it's great to be all-powerful, or 'uber' in game parlance. But at what cost? I consider it cheating to buy your way in to an uber character. In order to be truly 'uber,' you need to earn it. Besides, it takes a lot of skill to use a high-level character's abilities to their fullest, so an inexperienced player that has purchased a high-level character will very often lose a battle or die because they don't have the experience of all that playing time.
For me, the point of playing these games is not to win -- it's to be immersed in the worlds, and to interact with fellow players. You miss out on truly experiencing the world if you don't earn your items and character abilities."
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